The inability to be alone is pretty common amongst society.
While there is nothing wrong with wanting to connect with others since humans naturally want to feel a sense of belonging in the world, there is something wrong with fearing loneliness because we fear ourselves.
This inability to be alone becomes dangerous when we start using people to fill our own voids. We're expecting people to heal us because we haven't faced parts of ourselves that we're scared of, or keep running away from.
I'm not dating coach nor am I a person that promotes being single for the rest of your life. But I am a person who advocates for being single when you need to be.
You see, there are people dating or getting into relationships to stay sane. This podcast I was watching recently put it into dope words, "people are dating to heal."
What was sad about this is that the speaker said "people are dating to heal" as if it was justifiable. It's happening yes. It's common, yes. But is it effective? No.
Human beings are not place holders.
This can happen in friendships too. Some of my most painful experiences came with friendships because I was a people pleaser seeking external validation to feel whole within.
Don't get me wrong, you do want to please the people you love. However, depending on someone SOLELY to make you feel good about yourself, is nothing but a roller coaster ride.
And you know what else feels like a roller coaster ride... toxic relationships.
Some of us only feel like individuals when we're next to an individual and that's probably why you keep attracting toxic relationships.
I talk about the inability to be alone in my "6 Personality Traits That Attract Toxicity Into Your Life" guide. I not only name the traits but I give tips on how to overcome each one.
This is what I seek to upend in my brand.
To help you become an individual on your own so you're no longer operating from the wrong places when you become interdependent with people.
Here's the link:
I can honestly say operating from self-love is the greatest feeling in the world. . I have a foundation. I stand on me first before anyone else.
Do you have a fear of loneliness? Do you find yourself in back to back toxic dating/friendship cycles?