Have you ever been ghosted?
When I think of ghosting I think of:
Someone no longer responding or reaching out to you when the things between the 2 of you were fine.
You and a loved one getting into an argument and you never hear from them again. They don't respond when you reach out or have no desire to make amends.
Before you have a heart attack, offenses like your best friend sleeping with your man or someone blatantly disrespecting you are EXEMPT! I can understand someone ghosting or graciously letting you go, after that.
I do think there's a difference between ghosting and graciously letting someone go.
Let's say you keep telling someone over and over that their behavior is hurting you and they keep doing it, and you decide to finally leave without an explanation. I think that is a gracious goodbye.
Ghosting to me is blatant and abrupt.
Situations like you being mad at your best friend because she forgot your birthday and you cut her off without trying to hearing her out...that to me is ghosting.
Anything that you could work through with a loved one and you don't, you just left them instead, is ghosting in my opinion.
Of course our deal breakers are contingent upon our emotional bandwidth.
One thing I do know is ghosting is painful.
I remember when my older brother ghosted me. It wasn't too long before he ghosted that we were cracking up and laughing together. I noticed he wasn't responding to my texts anymore, then I found out he was doing somethings behind my back. It put a huge hole in my heart.
I didn't understand. I kept beating myself up trying to figure out why he did it. Where did I go wrong?
Still to this day, we don't talk. To be honest, it scared me. If you could turn on me when I did nothing to you, what are you capable of if I actually do something?
I do want to encourage the people who have ghosted someone to take these 2 things into consideration:
Did I try to talk this problem out with this person before? Can this be worked through?
Am I running away from conflict? Am I ghosting because it's easy?
How do I feel about confrontation?
I want to give tips to the people who have been ghosted:
Most times it's from a person who is emotionally immature and has trouble expressing their emotions.
Did you commit a serious offense?
Did you do something that this person told you to stop doing several times?
All you can do is try to make things work a few times. If that person is not reciprocating your efforts leave them alone.
If this person who ghosted you returns, don't allow them to come back like they didn't just ghost you. Pick up where the 2 of you left off! This is what I mean when I say some of these people don't have a good relationship with conflict.
It has nothing to do with you. Meaning, you didn't do anything TO them. They may feel some type of way towards you. It may their own insecurities. If you know you did nothing to this person, there's really NOTHING you can do.
What comes to your mind when you think of ghosting? Have you ever ghosted someone before?
Care to share?