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Here’s How False Personas Attract Toxic Relationships

Updated: Dec 9, 2023

Sometimes when we endure pain or trauma we take on false personas to protect ourselves.

Recently I was talking to a family member who identifies himself as introverted. He told me that he's not satisfied with his career. He feels like he doesn't have anything exciting to talk about in his life so it's no point in him going to events with his loved ones, or trying to make new friends.

"so if you had your dream career and was happy with your life, you would be open to making new friends and going out more?" I asked.

He said yes.

I thought to myself, so is he really an introvert or is he just dissatisfied with himself?

Similar to when I felt insecure about my flaws and pushed away love calling myself asexual. Which meant I didn't like boys or girls..

Calling myself "asexual" was a lie to protect myself from rejection. Maybe he's avoiding people to avoid embarrassment or shame.

The truth is I did want love but my false self blocked it out. I didn't believe I was worthy of love or that a guy would really love me for me. This is a HUGE lie.

This is also very common in toxic relationships. We feel so low after it ends or while we're in it, our pain takes over and convinces us we're something that we are not.

My false self was also a people pleaser. I did what people wanted me to do to fit in. But I didn't really WANT to do all that I was asked/felt obligated to do.

Are you claiming a false persona because it makes you feel safe? Maybe someone broke your heart and now you feel like you have to break everyone else's.

Maybe you've been betrayed, left, or dumped and that broke your heart. So you tell yourself,

"I don't want anymore friends."

"I don't want to fall in love ever again."

But is this really us talking or our pain? Is this really us talking or our dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives?

In my opinion, anything that is false SHOULD BE SHED!

What's funny is that this false persona does more harm than good and can actually bring in more of what we don't want over and over.

Like toxic relationships!

Because I didn't feel worthy of love and that a guy wouldn't truly love me for me, that's exactly what I attracted.

Guys that proved my point!

A girl under one of my pre-qualification posts called this "trauma loops."

Did I just push a button?


Consider me a remote that's going to channel you to solution.

Introducing to you.....

My complimentary 30 Minute Hoppin' call.

During this call we will:

1. Figure out 1 habit that's keeping you stuck and how to break out of it

2. Get more clear on why you keep attracting toxic relationships and create a mini game plan to stop

3. Help you understand yourself on a deeper level and learn to love yourself more.

My goal is to help you with this #1 problem which is back to back toxic dating/friendship cycles and get you to the solution, which is you, so you can love yourself on an unexplainable level and have relationships that prove this!

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