Toxic relationships are symptoms, not diseases.
What do I mean by this?
They are not the reason for your behavior, habits and beliefs; they are the result of your behaviors, habits, and beliefs.
In other words, toxic relationships are amplifiers to something going on deeper inside of you that need attention.
My senior year of highschool I did a speech called "Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship" and during this speech I said "I keep dealing with the same type of situations, just with different people, it has to be me."
That "has to be" came from a place of empowerment, not self-blame.
This was one of the most beautiful realizations I've ever had in my entire life.
Allow me to break this down.
I kept dealing with toxic relationships back to back.
Why? I was a former people pleaser.
Why did I people please? To cope with feeling safe in an unpredictable world. I experienced a lot of rejection (i.e bullying, grew up in a toxic household) in my life so I overextended myself to feel loved. I never felt good enough, wanted, or pretty enough.
Why did I keep people pleasing? The validation I got from others (i.e more friends, recognition etc.) was how I fueled my self-esteem. Which is seeking external validation. I overextended myself to be liked. This was a form of manipulation. I didn't really want to overextend myself, I just felt like that's what I had to do in order to fit in. Which is not 100% genuine.
Does this make me a terrible person? No.
But it does make me a.......... TOXIC RELATIONSHIP MAGNET.
Was this a trauma response? YES!
Does this make manipulating people by overextending myself to be liked right? NO.
You know what it did? It actually attracted overt manipulators into my life. Even though I was unconscious of the fact that I was manipulating people, that still didn't stop the Law of Attraction. The vibration I was emitting was not genuine and as a result, I attracted people who weren't genuine either.
You see, I didn't get my self-worth and confidence from within. I allowed myself to be disrespected and did things I wasn't 100% comfortable with to be liked. So of course, I attracted toxic relationships.
This is how I believe you must understand your story. And this is just a brief explanation.
Want to figure out why you keep attracting toxic relationships over and over?
Good news I have a solution to your problem!
My complementary 30 Minute Hoppin' call!
This call will help you:
Understand 1 habit that is keeping you stuck and how to break out of them.
Understand why you keep attracting toxic relationships and creating a game plan to stop.
Understand yourself on a deeper level and love yourself more.
Here's the link!
You can do this girl!