When I say the word "conflict" what comes to mind? How do you feel about conflict? Are you the type to address it or avoid it?
I used to be a person who feared conflict. Aside from being a people pleaser the thought of having to tell someone that they offended me, scared the crap out of me. It still scares me a little to this day but now I make an effort to speak up.
Also, I had the belief that speaking up was pointless because my emotions weren't validated growing up. This belief insidiously manifested into my relationships causing me to hold in how really felt so I won't offend people.
You know what this attracted? Toxic relationships.
I'd never forget when I saw a video on Tik-tok by a girl named Nia. She spoke about people who avoid conflict may fear intimacy. Conflict brings out vulnerability because you’re able to see a completely different side of someone. Even though It might be a side you don’t like 😂 for a person to disagree with you or show a not so beautiful side of themselves, they are opening up to you. This is a part of vulnerability.
When you tell someone "hey I don't like when you do this" you're basically saying you want to make the relationship work. You're leaving room for improvement.
Of course, situations where you express yourself repeatedly, get ignored, and dismissed are exempt!
I've learned that being too confrontational and not addressing conflict at all, can give you the same results!
If you pay attention, it's probably because they're both 2 extremes.
When you're the type to shut down and hold stuff in which was how I was, you're ridding yourself of an opportunity to get closer to your loved ones.
Are you scared of vulnerability? Do you find yourself in toxic dating and friendship cycles with your needs not being met?
Guess what? I got a solution to your problem.
My 30 Minute Complimentary Hoppin' Call.
During this call we will:
Figure out 1 habits that's keeping you stuck and how to break out of it
Get more clear on why you keep attracting toxic relationships and create a mini game plan to stop
Help you understand yourself on a deeper level and learn to love yourself more.
Here's the link! https://calendly.com/hoppinwithhago/30min
My goal is to help you with this #1 problem which is back to back toxic dating/friendship cycles and get you to the solution, which is you, so you can love yourself on an unexplainable level and have relationships that prove this!