I have a love hate relationship with my emotion led personality. I knew how to control my emotions when it came to thinking before I spoke (sometimes LMAO) but when it came to my internal state, I soaked in whatever mood I felt whether it was anxiety, anger, misery, unhappiness, stubbornness etc.
Why was I this way?
I am a person that operates from the heart, and while this can be a beautiful thing, it also put me in a lot of emotionally enslaving predicaments.
I used to always say that I was the type of person who just hurt to the core. When I was crossed, made a mistake, hurt someone, or disrespected, it stung a lot. I truly believe this is why I can also feel absolutely nothing at all. Once I am fed up my emotions shut off completely towards a person or circumstance. The “not feel anything at all” usually stems from feeling too much and getting tired of it.
In this article I want to explain to you why your emotions are the captain in your life, how to combat them, and alternate them between passenger, and driver seat.
1. Unhealed Wounds
I never operated off of one situation entirely. Whenever I was faced with a situation like a break up, argument, etc. I was always triggered from the past. Truth be told, me being emotionally led taught me a lot about the unresolved chaos I had residing in my mind and heart.
2. You Feel Safe In Your Emotions
Choosing to feel your emotions is a very courageous act. While most people desensitize, numb, or suppress their emotions, people with emotion led personalities are comfortable expressing, assessing, and feeling their emotions.
Remember when I said I have a love hate relationship with my emotion led personality? This is the love part. Being in tune with emotions has given me the ability to understand myself and what I truly want. So when I drift off into my bubble of emotions I feel uneasy but also very secure.
3. Emotions do run most of our lives
Rachael Groover said it best in her book "Powerful and Feminine." Emotions are the reason a person would quit their job, look for a new one, get a divorce, end a friendship etc.
So let's put this out there, EMOTIONS ARE OUR GUIDERS, PROTECTORS, AND TOOLS. Emotions are not the enemy. I believe that this is what caused so much emotional stagnation inside of me because I tried really hard to avoid the heavy emotions.
My problem was soaking in them and feeling entitled to them. I held onto my emotions for dear life to the point where the harsh and negative ones felt safe.
4. It feels good sometimes!
I’m big on owning your emotions and expressing how you truly feel because authenticity is found there. If I didn’t lead with my emotions this blog post wouldn’t be written, or the entire blog wouldn’t be created.
It may also feel good to lead with your emotions in a bad way. Sometimes it does feel good to “let somebody have it” or go off on someone who has wronged you.
5. You Really Have to Learn How To Manage Your Emotions
When I say manage, I don't mean suppress or put on a poker face. I mean really evaluate a situation, allow yourself to feel what you feel, and gather enough evidence before you (guilty) react impulsively.
As I stated before it's more of my internal state that gets out of whack oppose to my external state BUT I've definitely been in some predicaments where I did stretch things.
I think what needs to be taken into consideration is balance, knowing where you’re operating from, and effective coping mechanisms.
Now, I am a woman who:
Lets myself feel deeply because that's all I know how to do. LOL! I go into my room and usually lay in my bed and talk aloud to myself. No TV, no phone, with some beach waves playing.
I journal it out in the moment or later.
Then I'll dance, go out in nature, or make art out of it. A video, a writing piece etc. in a gracious/effective way.
Notice how I said "gracious" and "effective." I'm not running to social media first to solve my problems. I'm giving myself permission to feel and then produce art while I'm in a better state of mind to help people in the world.
Before I ran to social media first. Before I didn't have effective coping mechanisms.
Now, I actually get through my problems effectively.
It doesn't mean that I don't think about it now and then.
It just means that I move forward and get the lesson from it. I don't allow it to take me out like I used to.
Are you a person who operates from your emotions? Do you have healthy coping mechanisms for this? Do you find yourself soaking in your emotions and finding it hard to get through circumstances?
Care to share in the comments?