There are 2 types of insecurities. There's the insecurity where you feel like you're not good enough, (self-esteem/self-concept) ugly, stupid, fat, etc. and then there's the insecurity where you know you're good enough (self-confidence) but you just don't put yourself out there.
I didn't realize it at the time but I was talking about self-esteem and self-confidence.
Self-esteem/ self-concept is how we see and value ourselves. If someone were to ask you "who are you?" or "how do you feel about yourself?" what would you say...
That's self-esteem and self-concept.
Self-confidence is the belief in yourself and your abilities.
I was often asked "How do I deal with both?"
I have dealt with both so I was excited to answer.
Both self-esteem and self-confidence are important to have because if you have self-confidence but no self-esteem you might find yourself only feeling worthy when you're attaching yourself to your achievements.
Ever notice those people who ramble on and on and on about their accomplishments?
Probably because they don't know who they are.
Who you are isn't attached to your roles or what you do. I learned this in my life coach certification course.
For example, I'm a life coach, speaker, and writer but I believe who I am is an abundance of light, energy, and love. While I'm proud of my abilities I know they don't define me solely.
How do I know who I am?
A better question is how close are you to yourself? A good way to see this is how the world responds to you. I find that when you're close to who you are the world is open to you. When you're far from who you are the world is closed off to you.
When you really believe that you are inherently worthy your roles don't define you. Your accomplishments and relationships don't define you. Add self-confidence on top of that which means that you believe in your gifts/abilities, you'll be unstoppable!
This doesn't mean your relationships aren't important because our relationships play a crucial role in how we navigate the world.
When you don't believe that you're inherently worthy you're only feel like an individual next to an individual, you only feel amazing when you've accomplished something, or you may notice that you have achieved a lot but feel like nothing.
This is how toxicity can manifest into your life because you don't have a solid foundation of self-love. Getting your self-worth solely from external sources will lead you astray.
I open up about other personality traits that attract toxicity into your life in my "6 Personality Traits That Attract Toxicity Into Your Life" guide.
Here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UuxENifjSLrqzP4H38PYWVho-cvRSb44f99320c2xNQ/edit
And to answer the "how do I deal with both?"
FACE THEM! GET HONEST AND GET REAL!
What type of insecurity do you have? Care to share in the comments below?